So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
