I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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