Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
