i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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