you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
