Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
