Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
