He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
