Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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