God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
