OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
