ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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