Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
