So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
