You can't special order awesome
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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