if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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