would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
