the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
