Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
