I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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