pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
