ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
