well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
