Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Pooping to opera.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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