i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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