If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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