I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
