Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
