yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
