Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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