we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
