If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
