wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
