Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
