do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
