I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
