So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
