Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
