dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
