Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
