Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I have aggressive nipples.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
