Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
