We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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