You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
