Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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