White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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