i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
