Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
