You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
He passed out mid-signature
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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