The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Farmville is her only friend.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
