On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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