Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
