just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
