Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
