He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
